A profound and ongoing process of self-discovery often defies predictable expectation within our minds and indeed within our nervous systems – that’s what makes it both meaningful and usually full of challenges along the journey of growth.
Where individuals challenge their existing beliefs, values, and behaviors, we cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
When it defies expectation and we see reflection of it in our external circumstances, it has an even more dramatic and lasting impact on our psyche and motivation, allowing – and compelling us – to share insights with others, that they may also benefit from personal transformation.
Some characteristics that seekers on this journey experience (in different ways, but in common) are:
Limiting patterns: Recognizing and letting go of self-destructive habits, both tangible behaviors and emotions that hold us back.
Self-awareness: A changing and evolving sense of what the very word ‘self’ means in terms of the nature of emotions, behaviors, and understanding how they impact our lives.
Perspectives: Expanding our worldviews and seeing many others’ views as also valid adopts a compassionate and open-minded approach to life.
Releasing opinions and positions: Freedom from needing to have an opinion or take a position on every arising issue allows relaxation and reduced apprehension about new information presented that may counter our current worldview.
Acting on insights outside of comfort zones: Willingness to expect and observe different patterns outside ourselves results in unexpected growth and wanting to change – a departure from the perceived needing to change to escape discomfort or ‘dysfunctional’ patterns.
Breaking free from my self-doubt and negativity has allowed me to listen better, speak more freely, without ‘scripting’ and ‘filtering’, and has reduced the trepidation with which I approach social and professional interactions.
I cultivate resilience and confidence, and express that with others much better, now that I can be the example – rather than merely talking about it.
More meaningful daily relationships and connections have become available in my external world as a result, which reflects better on my internal world, too.
I have become more willing to pursue passions and live a more authentic life I can truly take pride within, and among those with whom I cultivate meaningful collaborations, which leads to the better experience of outcomes, despite how I may still label them as ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
In my journey to confront my particular fears and limitations, I have definitely noticed markedly improved calmness, patience, courage, and a willingness to continue changing, while striving never to rest half-way.
But despite the hard work, and many mistakes along the journey, both in the moment and often in long hindsight, the rewards are profound.
I experience a more fulfilling, purpose-driven life that reflects my true potential, and a life that always contained my highest potential.
This comforts me to know I have a big heart, and that I have always possessed within me the winning formula and ingredients for success.
As we embark on a personal transformation journey, to each our own fashion, we look to positive changes, but more importantly, for any changes at all that disrupt the sense of stagnation that can plague a resistant mindset.
Changes in mindset directs improvements in:
Productivity: By letting go of rushing and the obsession to be ‘productive’, self-doubt and negative thought patterns can subside, which actually drives better efficiency more readily.
Relationships: Changes to self-awareness gives rise to empathetic modalities of communication and sets examples of building stronger and practical connections with family, friends, collaborators, and clients alike – this also regulates our internal permission system to like ourselves more, too.
Creativity: New perspectives and ideas enhance our unique problem-solving abilities, as we gain respect with ‘out of the box’ framing of problems. Open-minded and non-threatening potential solutions are more likely to be explored and tested in the real world.
Work-life balance: Authentic purpose define and prioritize well-being and set healthy incentives, while shoring up better personal and professional boundaries. Attitude, not just time management, is a primary beneficiary area of this hard-won discipline.
Self-reflection: Time taken to examine thoughts, emotions, and behaviors prepares us for good timing in noticing opportunities for growth, in tandem with external inputs we encounter from others.
Growth mindset: Opportunities for learning and development are always a challenge, but they don’t need to threaten our egos.
Work environment: Supportive colleagues and ambiance that leads to focus (without too many distractions) fosters creativity, collaboration, and ultimately our best productivity.
Self-care: Nourishing the mind, body, and spirit can be achieved in a variety of exercises, meditations, writing, eating habits, and hobbies.
By integrating personal transformation, we benefit in adjunct ways that eventually seem to mutually reinforce one another, providing us with a deeper sense of integration as a person and a professional motivator to others with whom we surround ourselves.
Effective communication in personal and business settings enables us to become more engaged, motivated, and professional, allowing us to demonstrate the unique qualities that others can follow.
Becoming a leading figure and role in groups, family, and organizations fosters mutual respect and lasting relationships essential to maintaining greater success and fulfillment in our careers.
Your personal transformation journey will provide tangible feedback and evidence that speaks to improvements in your communication skills.
Active listening takes practice (with increasing skills and abilities) to fully engage with others, rather than maintaining an avoidant and timid stance.
We learn to ask open-ended questions, and clarify their needs and concerns, and we do this by taking risks and reducing how much we fear being judged.
Those who we respect in our lives for their clear expression speak concisely and confidently.
They openly use first-person statements and their own experience (sometimes personal or seemingly embarrassing) to ease the context of subjective thoughts and feelings.
Empathy and understanding cultivate a non-judgmental attitude, and make it easy for those around them to also demonstrate their courage to see things from others' perspectives.
Positive language frames messages in constructive, solution-focused ways.
Instead of becoming defensive, we attempt putting ourselves in another person's point of view.
This allows us to hold a ‘gap’ or pause before reacting based on a presumed set of opinions and positions, which is the only way to allow us to respond thoughtfully and respectfully.
Clearly expressing and reflecting needs and desires translates to positivity and inspires responses that harbor fewer aggressive or passive undertones.
As we directly address conflicts of viewpoint, we gain a cohesive and neutral stance (without being passive) that promotes constructive solutions and mutual respect.
In this manner, a resilient focus on finding solutions, rather than winning arguments, can be noticed and reinforced with buy-in from stakeholders with diverse viewpoints nonetheless.
By practicing personal and business communications with this wisdom in mind, we minimize instances of ‘problem’ relationships, resolve conflicts more effectively, and open more attractive relations with others, which definitely assists in achieving our goals with greater ease and respect.
It’s a win-win situation that opens doors and makes everyone realize they are unique and highly valued for their active participation.
It allows everyone concerned to “attract more flies with honey”, and encourages others to do the same, to validate better qualities and bring out the best results for all.
EXAMPLE: “I appreciate your feedback on this project. Can you help me understand what you mean by 'not meeting expectations'? I'd like to work together to find a solution that meets your needs.”